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Inner Workings Poetry

Inner Workings is my poetry anthology, named after a composition book I started in high school with the same name. That composition book is filled with poems I write in my teens and early twenties dealing with the hardships of life and discovering who I am as a person. Poetry is the first thing I knew I could write well, granted back then it was mostly poems I wrote for my mom on her birthday. Poetry has a way of striking the soul easier and more directly than any prose writing. I share these poems, often from my most vulnerable moments, so that others who are suffering similar thing will know they're not alone. I've read my poetry hundreds of times to readers and have been met with heartfelt tears and hugs. As I continue to write poems my hope is that my pain can help others heal.  

Inner Workings:
Poetic Therapy

My debut poetry book is a collection of poems written between 15 and 23 years old dealing with depression, suicide, anxiety, sexual assault, and trying to figure out life as a young person. The suicide prevention hotline is on the dedication page. The cover is a part of a mental health photoshoot that I designed and modeled in and is meant to be a representation of my anxiety attacks.

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"Looking For a Friend"
A poem from Inner Workings: Poetic Therapy

I am an adventurer,

A traveler

Searching and searching

All in the hopes that I might just find a friend

A companion hidden in a faceless crowd

A friend to console when times are hard

Someone to enjoy the good times and the bad

Sharing all the laughs and tears

I’m looking for someone,

Anyone who might need my help

So that even if only for a moment

Even a fraction of a second

I will be needed,

Wanted

I will have a purpose

The Relapse

The Relapse is the second installment in the Inner Workings anthology. While on active duty I lost 3 friends in 10 days and spent the following 9 months crawling into every bottle of booze and pills I could find in my worst non-suicidal depression. The Relapse is a selection of poems from that period of working through not just grief but the guilt and shame that many addicts face when we eventually backslide. 

"Help Wanted"
A poem from The Relapse

Spiraling

I’m losing control

Engines are burning

Altitude dropping

May day!

May day!

 

They sky screams at me

Waving as she passes

No birds or planes

Nor even a cloud.

I’m alone in these skies

May day!

May day!

 

GPS goes out

Sticks stiffen

The small craft dancing

Bobbing and weaving

May day!

May day!

 

Screaming

Voice turned hoarse

Next vanishing completely

May Day!

May day!

 

I try to get some help

My signs ignored

Distraught

Paled with horror

May day!

May day!

 

Aeronautical vessel,

The one called life

I’ve lost control

Need your help

Arms outstretched

Fighting to regain control

May Day!

May day!

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